National Volunteer Appreciation Week, April 27-May 3, is an occasion to celebrate the many volunteers we have in this community. We at MOM are doing this through a weeklong series of special events and venues, even an April-long display at the Middleton Library (thanks to Ellen Carlson!). My monthly column is another such venue; this one is dedicated to all 40+ active volunteers who do Stephen Ministry--the one program of MOM that offers distinctly Christian care.

"Stephen Ministers" are named after Stephen, the first Christian deacon or distributor of charity; also the first martyr (see Book of Acts, chapters 6-7). Our Stephen Ministers also distribute charity one person at a time. They spend time with people suffering critical losses: death or divorce, a child or parent, job or career turn, a major health or recovery issue, even quadriplegics. They also care for people on spiritual journeys who have lost their way.

To tell the story of such MOM volunteers, even anonymously, is difficult because of confidentiality rules. But here we have permission to tell the story of one couple bringing life to a dying man and his surviving wife. I say "we" because I am letting Sharon (with husband Will) tell their story largely "in their own words."

We started the training in January of 2002. Will and I thought we'd learn how to understand the feelings of those going through crisis--and we did. But to my utter surprise, I once again experienced the pain and anguish of my husband's near death experience. I realized that I had never dealth with my feelings regarding Will's heart attack. I had instead tucked them away in a nice safe corner of my mind, hoping that it would not resurface. This realization was indeed a Stephen Ministry moment.

As part of the training, we would form into a small groups and do role-plays. I was acting out my role (which happened to be my real situation), and the members of my group were to ask specific questions geared to comfort me. It was heart-wrenching, for all, because they were feeling my pain and were desperately trying to comfort me, which, of course, was the objective of the session. It was truly a transforming journey.

After 50 hours of training, we all had a greater understanding of our own feelings. We felt prepared to forge caring relationships with a hurting world. Still Will and I signed up for 18 more hours of HospiceCare training. We wanted to be qualified and ready for whatever the Lord had prepared for us.

The call came even before we had completed the HospiceCare training.

Sue Gruen, Referrals Coordinator of Stephen Ministry at MOM/High Point, called with a request for Will and me to come alongside a couple whose husband had been diagnosed six months prior with a debilitating, terminal disease with 10 months to live. They were apprehensive at first meeting us, but we assured them that we were there to support them through this crisis.

Albert and Betsy [not their true names, but changed to preserve their privacy] wept, unable to believe that someone would do that for them. They are very sweet, God-fearing people who have been married more than five decades. We all connected right away. Will and Albert really hit it off. Though told that the relationship between care receiver and caregiver is confidential, Albert makes known to all that Will is his Stephen Minister, and they continue to invite friends and family over to meet us.

We meet with Albert and Betsy once a week for two hours in the evening. For the first month we meet as couples [an exception to the Stephen Ministry one-on-one rule, but waived in this case]. When circumstances warrant, Betsy and I go out for coffee, which provides an avenue for further discussion and one-one-one attention. This has been most helpful in working out end-of-life guilt and forgiveness issues.

One day Albert was complaining of a bad week--too many interruptions and he could not read his Bible or pray. He said that he heard chattering voices in his mind and that they were accusing him of not being forgiven and other falsehoods. He was feeling hopeless. I immediately began covering Albert daily, even waking up at night to cover him in prayer.

Prayer is a powerful tool, and the Lord wants us to use it to protect each other.

Will is now taping a video of Albert giving "the blessing" to each family member [much as Jacob did with his twelve descendants]. We pray that the Lord will sustain Albert through the completion of this video-taping. Already Albert's life has been extended eight months beyond the doctors' original diagnosis.

Will and I marvel at the ways the Lord has used our respective spiritual gifting to minister to the needs of this couple. As Will works on specific issues with Albert, my primary responsibility has been to intercede for Albert and Betsy, as well as pray for guidance, direction and wisdom for [everyone else involved].

As we work in tandem, complementing each other's ministry focus, it seems to more effectively meet the needs of our respective care receivers. Moreover, as we minister in this manner, we are drawn closer in our relationship with each other, Will and I, as well as in our relationship with the Lord.

We at MOM salute all the Stephen Ministers, as epitomized by Sharon and Will, who care for members of the community through MOM and area churches. For those eager to follow in their steps, the next 20-week series of Stephen Ministry training for MOM volunteers begins September 9, at High Point Church. For those looking for other volunteer opportunities, even as a family, check out www.volunteeryourtime.org. Also, if interested and qualified, call Dietrich or Ellen (836-7338) for a paid position as MOM's Volunteer Coordinator. Applications are due May 15.

© 2003 Middleton Outreach Ministry

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