Souper Bowl is for Caring and some football theology

The Super Bowl is almost here—yes, it is this Sunday and it’s Chicago Bears vs. Indianapolis Colts, if you don’t already know. But another kind of Super Bowl is also coming, of which you may not know.

On February 4, youth groups from all over the country will participate in the annual “Souper Bowl of Caring.” Last year, thousands of churches raised millions of dollars to help hungry and hurting people.

In Dane County, 24 churches are participating, including our own Middleton Community and High Point. These two area churches send their Souper Bowl of Caring offering to support MOM’s Food Pantry. This comes at a time when food donations are down, while need for the Pantry persists.

Participating is easy. You can participate online at www.souperbowl.org to or call 800.358.SOUP (7687). If you are hosting a Super Bowl party this year, you could set an admission price of at least one can of soup per person. Once collected, remember to bring your cans of soup to MOM’s Distribution Center at 8710 Montclair Drive (in the Middleton Business Park, off Pleasant View Road). The food is then given to families who need a helping hand.

You could of course, deliver your funds directly to the MOM Office at 7432 Hubbard Avenue, identifying the money as a Souper Bowl offering for the Pantry. Thanks for considering this opportunity. We’ll celebrate the results in the next In Touch newsletter or the Middleton Times Tribune.

But just so you can bring church into your football viewing, why not do what many pastors have done over the years, and that is to bring football analogies into their preaching. “If you can’t beat them, join them,” as they say. So as we approach Super Bowl Sunday, it is only right that we invoke "Football Theology"—that is, some puns borrowed from other preacher-sportswriter-punsters.

Try these out on your friends, and see if these football analogies don’t bring a smile to their faces. After all, a smile is good for your attitude, disposition and health. Here’s to smiles all around:

Illegal Use of Hands—clapping at inappropriate times during the worship service.

Incomplete Pass—a dropped offering plate.

Fair Catch—holding the offering plate in front of each member until money is placed in it.

Quarterback—what tightwads want after putting a dollar in the offering plate.

Touchback—the laying on of hands to anoint someone with a blessing.

Draw Play—what restless children (and adults!) do during a long sermon.

Face Mask Penalty—smiling at church and saying everything is fine when it really is not.

Holding Penalty—result of church members who believe that nothing can be done about anything.

Touchdown—when church attendance and giving records are broken.

Fan Response—saying "Amen" to the sermon.

Pass the Peace—when someone asks for more peas at a Super Bowl dinner party.

Punt Play—when the pastor declines to answer a difficult question.

Huddle—when a small group of people circle up to seek guidance about what to do next.

Time Out—when a smoker steps outside the church for a break.

Come Back Kid—when a newcomer returns to church the following week.

Fourth Quarter Comeback—when the church treasury or negative cash flow rebounds from Oct thru Dec.

Down Six—the undertaker's line on the odds against the resurrection of the body.

Overtime—when the preacher keeps everyone sitting well beyond what their fannies can endure.

Sudden Death—that is, their own or someone else’s—what would cause preachers to miss the Super Bowl.

Final Gun—the Benediction.

See how easy this is? You can use mine as conversation starters, then make up your own football analogies as you go. As for my benediction, I ask that God bless friend and foe alike, on both sides of football’s line of scrimmage. (I’ll leave you to figure out what would be your church’s “line of scrimmage”!)

I invoke equal blessing on Bears and Colts fans, because I can’t see God taking sides in a football game or influencing the outcome. However, there is at least one Middleton Times-Tribune editor (who hails from Boston) who thinks that Someone cursed the hands of the New England Patriots’ receivers who dropped pass after pass from Tom Brady, back on January 21, resulting in their unexpected loss to the Indianapolis Colts. As for me, that was super and now represents an occasion to praise God and pass the soup (cans).

© 2005 Middleton Outreach Ministry

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